"Hold on to [life] as if you are holding on to the love of your very truest friend." ~Summerland, Michael Chabon

Look at me (I'm a winner)!

I'm bored, so I'm going to add pictures from EFY. Yay for Effie!

We begin with the lovely counselors of my company, Suzy and Ashley. Suzy was really sweet and fun and had feety (feetie?) pajamas. She would always escort me everywhere because there weren't enough guys in our group and was my greatest friend in my company. Ashley was so nice to me (even though she was the other girls' counselor) and listened to all my problems. They were both awesome. Oh yeah, Suzy's the one on the right, Ashley's on the left.


And we come to my dear friends Cooper and Steven. Steven manages to look exactly the same in every single picture I took of him this week, except for one, that you'll get to see later. Apparently you can only upload 5 pictures at a time, so it will come. In all the pictures I took at the dances, everyone is all glowy and I can't explain why. Coop is awesome as usual, and Steven will be happy to know that his nose does not look ginormous.


Here are the awesome kids that I hung out with during the dance. Steven, Cooper (who looks amazing in this picture), Landon, and Soren. I'm sorry if I spelled any names wrong. Please correct me if I did. They are all so sweet and we had tons of fun at the dances. Aren't they all so cute?


Ah, the vibe. What more can I say? I was doing the vibe and Chad (the one in green, he was the guys' counselor) knew what it was! So he and Brett demonstrated the correct technique of the vibe. Spanky is the back is just doing his thing. Living up to his name, I guess. I never did learn his real name.


And finally, Chad. Chad who knew Brian Regan. He was really funny and could dance. Really. This was one of my attempts to catch people off guard and it turned out pretty well. All the others failed. But I like this one.


Well, I hope I made your day a little bit better. My day was ok. My excursion to Berkeley wasn't a complete disaster. I did go to Hot Topic but didn't buy anything because they were stupid and didn't have anything that appealed to me. Not even cool socks. But my trip did pay off because I came back with the Aquabats CD Charge! (from which my title comes from) and Benny and Joon. I also got a new pair of Chuck Taylors, navy and cream pinstripe. Hi Top. Of course. They are a thing of beauty. Or things of beauty, since there are two of them. Two things. Of beauty.

Anyway! I'm off to look for a job again tomorrow. The one that I had hoped for, that looked pretty promising, called today and said that they wanted a permanent employee. Well, fine. So we'll see what happens. Wish me luck everyone, and I'm still open to phone calls. ; ) Love to all! Shalom

"I wonder if he rides a scooter.....I wonder if he looks like a scooter." ~Mom talking about Scooter Libby

Isn't Logan adorable? I just love him. I'm going to miss his hugs. He gives good, yummy smelling hugs. Wait, hold up, I'm going to get some music. K, I'm back. I got Mates of State to listen to. I like them. They make me happy.

I went and saw 1776 today. Ray is John Hancock in it, and he did very well. Last time he was Richard Henry Lee, which I thought he did better than this guy, but I liked this production better. It was more professional and overall the cast was better suited to their roles. I really like the Rutledge and the Dickinson. I thought that they did very well in their roles, very superior and noble. Dickinson had a good voice too. And the courier was very cute, I must say. Especially when he missed his entrance and came on with his glasses on. Adorable. I tell you, glasses does something to me. I love a nerdy guy. Ah well. Overall, it was very good and I enjoyed it a lot. I really liked Abigail Adams too. She was good. Not so much with Martha Jefferson. I didn't like her voice very much, not to mention I don't like that "He Plays the Violin" song. The subject matter is fine, but the song isn't very well-written. Oh well. That was about the only complaint I had. I enjoyed myself.

Afterwards we went to Fresh Choice for an early lunch before Ray's night show, and I kept looking out the window and seeing interesting things. First, there were these cylindrical poster displayer thingies. Apparently one of them broke, because I looked out to see two janitor people brushing the glass off of the edges, and it was all shattered on the ground. They swept it up and the next time I looked there was a police officer there. Cool. The other side, though, had a poster for a new show called "Kyle XY" or something like that. But he was holding his shirt up and had a confused look on his face and we were trying to figure out why. We had a few speculations. One was that the photographer told him to lift his shirt up, and so he was like "you want me to do what?" as he was lifting his shirt and that explained the confused look. Another was that it seemed that he didn't have a belly button, and so that could also explain the confusion as he showed the world his dilemma. However, we just wanted to go up and write "constipated" or "bloated" on his tummy like those commercials. I guess we'll never know.


Can I tell you, when I first saw this picture, I could not stop staring at it. Isn't Liz hot? Seriously. I was looking at some other pictures and we look a lot more alike now than we did when we were younger, and I am glad for that. If I look even remotely like Liz, that would make me happy. She's so beautiful, in body and in spirit. I am so glad to have a sister like her. She's so lovely and talented and bright and funny and the best friend I could ever ask for. I remember calling her when I was freaking out and crying so much and she was just there for me, talking to me and helping me forget. And I can never hesitate to call her whenever I need her and she'll always listen. I can tell her everything and she won't laugh. She'll give me advice about anything I ask about and she's so understanding. Man, am I lucky. I'm glad we found each other in the pre-existence and said, "Hey. Let's be sisters." I am so grateful to be related to someone as wonderful as she is. I am so proud of her for working at Playmill this summer, for getting in and being a trooper even when she's sick. And she never has too much to do that she can't talk to me for a few minutes. She's a terribly incredible person, and I love her.

I'm going to Singles Ward tomorrow, and I must admit that I'm a bit nervous about that. I won't know anybody as a safeguard to hang out with. Oh well, I'm sure I'll make friends soon enough. I hope that Benjamin and I become friends fairly soon, considering he's probably going to be my ride from now on. Mom's taking me tomorrow so that she can work for a few hours, but she can't take me every week. Well, we'll see what happens, and I'll keep you posted.

You know, I should probably go, because Mom's asleep on the couch and has been for almost an hour, and she won't sleep tonight unless I wake her up. I wonder what we'll do tonight. I'll probably eat more ice cream. Maybe that's what's causing me to have such strange dreams. Oh! I had the freakiest dream last night. I don't even remember all of it, but what I do remember is creepy enough. I had a dream that some guy was stalking me, and I don't mean like "ha ha, you had better give me that book or I'll stalk you." I don't mean that. I mean seriously and horribly stalking. The part I remember was I was in a hotel room with another girl and it was night and the lights were off and he had called and was talking to me on the phone, in a deep and rough voice. I don't remember what he was talking about, but it was enough it instill a deep horror in me. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and so I hung up the phone. I crawled into the other bed with the girl and was talking to her about how scared I was and if it was smart to hang up on him like that and the phone rang again. And then I woke up. I just laid there for a second, so thankful that I had woken up. That's one of those dreams that you are so glad that you wake up from and don't have to endure it anymore. But all's well.

Mom woke up actually, and is going to go on a walk, and I think I'll join her, so talk to you all later! Love to all! Shalom


I think this one is better, don't you? We're kind of glowy, like angels. Cool. It's the EFY spirit, man. CTRock on

"Have you ever interdigitated?"

I found this old picture of San Francisco, and decided that it was appropriate to use because this blog will be about that very place. Well, it's a bit different now, but it's still the same lovely place.

Today was a Spare the Air day and so BART and the buses and even the ferry was free, but I didn't take the ferry. I thought about it, but then decided against it. I was too lazy to find out when it left and stuff. But yeah, because of the freedom (and free-dom, ha ha), I took the bus to the Fruitvale BART and then BARTed to the Embarcadero Station, which takes me to San Francisco, right by the pier. So I spent the day wandering around San Fran. Nothing really significant happened. I bought the Incredibles at Rasputin music, and three cards from a little card shop for Mollie, Steven, and Liz. Liz's is the best, I'll post a picture of it on here soon. I did have an awesome experience, because I brought my camera with me, and as I was wandering around I saw a myriad of posters about iPods. There was a picture of a sheep that said "iSheep say bah." And a guy hanging from strings with the token "Have you become an iPuppet?" And my favorite, a robot with the slogan, "iDroid. Programmed to comply." Well, I thought it was very interesting, so I went to take a picture of it, and just as I was doing so, two guys with iPods walked by. I took the picture and I think that I just got the second guy in the shot, but it was amazing. It was a fabulous reality, I might even say. It was awesome. I don't necessarily agree with it, but it is interesting. If you want to check out the poster, go to idont.com and click on materials. I think that they're rather clever.

I also took a picture of a beautiful brick building with trees all lined in front and the sunlight filtering through to create patterns on the wall. Who knows if it will turn out, but it was very pretty. I also walked some of the more shady streets in the city, including where all the "men's houses" were. Actually, one of them caught my eye and made me laugh, because the advertisement on the building said "continuous live nude girls on stage!" As opposed to "continuous dead nude girls on stage!" I thought it was funny. But I guess that's not for everyone. However, I did see an ad for RENT live at the...oh, the something theatre. Dang, now I can't remember. Oh well, I doubt I would have been able to go anyway. Oh yeah, the Golden Gate Theatre. But yeah. That was kind of cool. That was about it though. It seemed strange that I walked around for about two and a half hours and didn't really do much, but I saw so much, and that's what I really love to do, just watch people. When I first got there, I got a sourdough bagel (which was amazing) and an apple juice at Noah's Bagels and just sat outside and watched the people go by. I love doing that. But then I came home and had some pizza and watched the Incredibles (which just gets better every time I see it) and now I'm content. Tomorrow I'm going with my mom and JoRene to see 1776, which Ray is in, and then we're all going out to dinner afterwards. I'm going to Singles Ward on Sunday (freaky!) and then going to Carla's to hang out with Gwen and Lenna. So I should have a pretty good weekend before I have to go back to pounding the pavement to look for a job. Oh, and congrats to Jill and Jeff, who now work at Bear Mountain Pizza. Hope that I can get a job soon too.

I had the weirdest dream last night. Well, I had quite a succession of dreams. You know how you wake up, and then say, oh I'm going to shut my eyes for a few more minutes and then you wake up an hour later? I did that all morning, and some weird dreams came out of it. I'm not going to go into detail, but Melissa and I tried to sneak into the choir room at the BYU campus at night but got caught, Jill let a 13 year old boy drive the White Knight while she and I spent the entire drive trying to find the Sons of Provo soundtrack, and Kelly Clarkson was at an EFY event. Talk about weird. I don't remember what I ate before I went to bed. Maybe it was the mint ice cream. And crap, I had some more tonight. Well, we'll see if I have weird dreams tonight. Anyway, I think that's about it in my life for right now, I'm still lonely so don't hesitate to call, and love to all! Shalom

P.S. I forgot to add something. I had lost my wallet at the airport here in Oakland, or on the plane somewhere or something, but nothing really important was in it, my Safeway Club card, my Albertson's Preferred card, my frequent buyer card from Hot Topic. The only thing important that was in there was my check card. Whoops. So I called and cancelled it and got a new one and that was all hunky dorey. So I got a package in the mail today from Southwest Airlines and you know what was in it? My wallet! Yay! Now I can save money at Safeway again! Thank you Bettie, Margaret and Woody! You're my heroes of the day!

"Look at that guy! He's got a beard and he's riding a scooter!" ~Steven Baxter

This is the house that I was talking about in my last blog. I took a picture of it the day I got back from EFY. Quite a good picture, too, if I do say so myself. I'll add more pictures from EFY as I progress, I don't want to add them all now. But isn't this a gorgeous house? I get to bike past it any time I want. Sometimes I just stop and look at it because it's so beautiful. This really is an amazing place. On Saturday night Mom and I went down to the beach and walked up and down until the sun set. Just standing there with the city just to the left of the setting sun, with the breeze in your face and the waves gently rolling beside you. It was so amazing. I wish everyone I loved could have been there then. But then again, it was nice to just have Mom and I enjoy a quiet moment together. Either way, it was perfect the way it was. It was incredible.

EFY, by the way, was also incredible. I learned so much about the Lord Jesus Christ, and so much about the love that Heavenly Father has for me, and for all of His children. One thing that really hit me, was I was in a class about how much Heavenly Father loves you no matter what you're going through. And we were watching a clip from a conference talk, and I don't even remember who was speaking, but he said "Heavenly Father loves us so much more than our happiness." And that really got to me, because as the class went on and as I pondered on that, it is so true. Heavenly Father knows when he needs to send trials to us, and He knows when we need hardships in our lives, because He knows the outcome. He knows that it will be better for us in the end. On of the analogies that our teacher, Bro. Martin, gave to us, is taking his daughter in for her shots. He said that what if he had given in to her crying and pleading and not had her have to get a shot and then years later, she had developed polio because she didn't get that shot. When she came to him and asked him why she had polio, could he look at her and say, "it's because I love you. It's because I love you so much that I wouldn't let them give you that shot." A few moments of pain is infinitely better than a lifetime of suffering. We need to realize that the trials we have now are given to us because Heavenly Father loves us. He loves us so much, that He has to let us have that shot, because He knows that
that shot will prevent us from so much more pain. And He won't let us suffer any more than we need to suffer. Heavenly Father will only give us the trials that we need. He doesn't just hand out trials randomly. He knows us, each and every one of us, and He knows what we individually need. I guess that's what I really really got this last week. It was emphasized over and over, and that was what I needed to hear the most. It was truly awesome.

K, this has been going on for three days now, I keep trying to add more pictures and it won't let me, so forget about that.

Silly how I was talking about trials and then yesterday was one of the worst days I've had while I have lived here. I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad, in fact, I don't want anyone to feel bad, but I just need to get it off my chest. I just started crying and crying and I couldn't stop. I seriously haven't cried that much in a long long time. I just sat on the couch and hugged my legs and cried. Finally, I called Liz and talked to her for a while and it really helped. I just get so lonely, knowing that I can't call anyone up to go hang out, or that no one will stop by to say hi. And I can't keep calling people because I'm sure the phone bill is extremely expensive because of me. So finally after talking to Liz I cried some more, put in a Sherlock Holmes movie to distract me, and took a little nap. It was bad. That's how Mom found me when she got home. But luckily she's an amazing mother and made me a fruit shake and took me out. We went to Blockbuster and got the Matrix and then we went down to the beach for another walk. I should have brought my camera with me, but don't worry, we'll go again. Because it was so beautiful. The sun had already set but the horizon was fiery as the stars were coming out. I walked along the beach with my feet in the warm waves (yes, warm). We saw a fish once, all flashing silver in the shallow water. The ocean was the color of filtered moonlight and it was amazing. I need to have moments like this more often.

I had a really nice dream last night, that involved me going to prom with a very attractive young man who looked like the doctor from A Flea In Her Ear. Those who saw the show (and are female) know what I'm talking about. And he liked me. That was a plus. That dream also included me walking on water with the guy from King of Queens. Talk about weird. Don't worry, I wrote it all down in my dream journal. I also had a half dream yesterday morning after signing up for classes (which includes Russian, if I do say so) that was about me meeting my guardian angel. Pretty cool.

Ok, I am dying of heat, so I think I'm going to get some ice cream and watch Ordinary People, which is an amazing movie and I recommend it to everyone. I bought it today on sale, along with Edward Scissorhands. Oh, how my DVD collection is growing. I actually went to buy the Incredibles, but they only had it in fullscreen. Oh please. Anyway, I love you all, and miss you tons, so don't hesitate to ring me up! Love to all and to all a good day. Shalom

Be bold hence

I want to include some poetry in this entry. I'm going to start with two that Darcy wrote with the magnets in the Jacobson's house, that I really enjoyed so I copied them down.

"shadow and storm beneath the moon
black rain was near beauty
frantically fall then soar in life
true loves stare like mist"

and

"his vision whispers music
I dream of symphonies
we sing for eternity"

Yay for Darcy. You're my hero.
You know, I'm going to rant for a minute about the Planet of the Apes, the new one. I did not enjoy it at all. Ok, the music was good, what I could remember of it. Which would be, like, the overture. But the rest of the movie was ridiculous. Sure, the makeup was amazing, but the acting wasn't, and the story? My goodness. There was no story. Fifteen minutes into the movie I was completely bored but somehow felt obligated (but what force I'm not sure) to finish watching it. There was no plot. No story line. The humans could talk? What was that all about? When it got to the end I wasn't surprised or even entertained at all. When they found out how the apes became intelligent I was just like, "oh. That was stupid." I didn't care about the characters at all. What about the old ones? I mean, come on, I cried when Cornelius and Zira died. I cheered when the apes took over the city. I felt something. Those movies are amazing. Pure genius. I kind of want to watch them again. Well, not really. But they are incredible.

And oh, the glories of public transportation. I took the bus to the BART station, and then took BART to Hayward, and then another bus up to the university so that I could watch a little musical theatre dealio with my mother. It was fun. And relatively easy. But at the moment, I'm bored, so someone call me. I can't think of anything else to say, nothing deep or spiritual or enlightening. So I'd like to close with a poem that I just wrote with the refridgerator magnet words. Love to all! Shalom

"to her he was but an angel
she sings his joy and screams his pain
morose as she observed his form and hers
fingers copulated
together they create a wax dream
a silhouette of music though she loves him
I am their lachrymose sleep"

"The notes are only seven." ~Andrea Bocelli

You know, as I was bike riding around today, I realized just how beautiful it is here. Most of the streets that I was riding along looked like this. The houses are all old and Victorian, there is one that is simply gorgeous. It's big and white and has this awesome porch and there are vines and trees and plants all around it and it's amazing. I'll take a picture someday. But as I was riding along, I just thought of how happy I was to be back here. The streets are beautiful and all I can hear are the birds, the sunlight is filtering through the trees, and the breeze blowing in my face smells of the ocean. Hopefully I get a job down at the Alameda Towne Square because I would love to have to do that ride every day. And I must be in better shape than I thought because I rode everywhere and I'm not sore at all. Well, my butt is, but I think that was just the seat.

I cut my hair and it's amazing. It's so much lighter and cooler. It feels so comfortable to get all that weight off my head. Oh, several things. One, I got that quote because Andrea Bocelli was on KQED when we wanted to watch Antiques Roadshow, and he said "The notes are only seven." ? We think it means that he only knows seven notes. Maybe that's why we can't stand him. We also discussed the implications of Andrea Bocelli, Kenny G, and Yanni all doing a concert together, and the rift in the universe it would create, destroying all forms of life as we know it. I also learned how to play the didgeridoo that night. And I can tell you that you can't play the didgeridoo while laughing, but it is impossible not to laugh while playing the didgeridoo. It tickles. Anyway, I'm listening to Decemberunderground and loving what I'm hearing. I love Jade's voice, that's all I'll say. Oh, and Jeffrey? Guess who's picture I got? Adam! Ha ha! I'm very happy. With everything.

I actually was gone for about four hours getting applications and getting my hair cut and stuff. It really didn't feel that long. I left at about 11:30 and got back at a quarter to four. So I watched another Planet of the Apes movie. I only have one left to go. My goal was to watch them all before the end of the week, but that seems kind of stupid now. Pantherius is completely crazy, and we think that he has OCD now too. He licks constantly. Oh well. It's kind of hot in here. I miss you all and are thinking of you. I can't wait to go to EFY though, and hang out with Steven and Logan and Coop and Conklin. It's going to be beautiful. I can't really think of anything else to say. I guess I could go fill out applications now. But that's not fun. Maybe I'll watch the last Planet of the Apes movie while I do that. Wow, what a pointless existence I have. Mom won't be home till 7:30. Maybe I'll go on a walk. You know, actually, that sounds like a good idea. Maybe I'll bike down to the beach and hang there for a while. Yeah...Love to all. Shalom!