Disclaimer: I know this issue may be a sensitive one for some people, but I feel moved to express my opinion on the matter. I have no wish to offend or persuade; I only wish to share my thoughts and feelings. And since I believe you all have your own opinions based on personal experiences and since you are entitled to express those opinions, thoughtful comments will be accepted and appreciated.
As of August 4, 2010, the California Supreme Court ruled Proposition 8 unconstitutional, and will soon enter into further conversations about equal rights for gay couples. And I have to say I am pleased. I'm an advocate for all human rights, and I believe any two consenting adults should be given the opportunity to get married. It's interesting to remember the US Supreme Court didn't end miscegenation laws until 1967, and still some states denied legal unions between blacks and whites. This prejudice was bred out of hate and ignorance, and the same issues are arising with regard to gay marriage. I honestly don't understand how allowing same-sex marriages changes anything for anyone else. Some want to promote the sanctity of marriage by preserving it for only heterosexual couples. And yet Las Vegas, Nevada has the second most weddings in the world, where most marriages are probably based on intoxication and lust and consequently don't last very long. And that promotes the sanctity of marriage? How does that make any sense?
Many people suggest civil unions and domestic partnerships as solutions to the gay marriage question. But a little research shows that these two solutions offer only a fraction of the state rights that married couples receive, and none of the federal rights. And to me, it's about more than just rights. I believe in human equality. I believe everyone should be given the same rights regardless of their race, ethnicity, gender, or sexual orientation (rights can be lost based on action, but that's a different issue). We are singling out a group of people and persecuting them because of who they love. And that's not right.
I have heard people talk about how marriage (heterosexual marriage) doesn't seem to be important anymore. People are getting married later in life, divorce rates are up, and overall marriage has fallen on many people's priority lists. And yet there is an entire population of people fighting for the right to have their desire to commit be recognized and are being denied. That just doesn't make sense to me. For a community that has suffered from innumerable negative stereotypes regarding fidelity and sex, the fact that that community is fighting for commitment and loyalty should be recognized and celebrated.
While California's Supreme Court ruling is a step in (I believe) the right direction, there is still a ways to go. It's probably going to be a long and arduous journey, but I believe it will end with equal rights prevailing. That we would, in the future, continue to deny any rights to anyone based on sexual orientation is disheartening and unfortunate.
That said, I also think "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" is ridiculous.
7 comments:
Thank you for posting your thoughts, Beckah.
I continue to be uncomfortable with the Church's involvement with Prop 8 and similar legislative events. To me, it doesn't make sense legally to have a ban on gay marriage. I've heard the arguments, and they just don't wash.
When Elder Oakes came to BYU-I to speak in devotional about the issue, I was so excited; I thought my questions were going to be answered. But they weren't.
I don't like the "majority rules/voice of the people" argument, because letting the majority decide the rights of a historically persecuted minority is one of those things this nation was founded in order to STOP. I mean, please. How "constitutional" was it for the white South to vote on the rights of black people back in the day?
So I don't defend Prop 8 with the usual arguments, because I don't believe in them. But I do believe in the Church, and that the Brethren are called of God and have a much wider, clearer perspective. They know things I don't. I accept that. They're up on the watchtower; I'm down behind the city walls. Were we the ancient Carthaginians, I might have been tempted to scoff at their announcement that an army was approaching -- on elephants. But I would have been wiser to listen, in faith.
That said, I don't believe the Brethren are infallible. But neither do I believe that it's a good idea to decide for myself which Church policies might be not-so-inspired. For obvious reasons.
So, as you might be able to guess, I'm conflicted. I'm a little relieved, a little disappointed, a little anxious.
I hope and pray that everyone involved in the debate will speak and act with respect and love.
Hello fellow Latter-day saint friends,
I want to commend you for your eloquence in such a difficult subject matter. I, too, struggle with my feelings on this issue, and I am caught in the occasionally tricky realm between being an ardent Latter-day Saint and a raging liberal. The Proposition 8 subject has been unpalatable for me, to say the least. Perhaps you don't wish to hear, but I will tell you a couple of things that have helped me reconcile my feelings on the matter.
Number 1- My bishop told me that as long as I am doing so with the spirit of faith, it is ok to question things like this. This is not a religion of blind faith. We are not asked to do things until we first have a testimony of them. I am still developing a testimony in this issue, and as long as I am working towards that goal, I cannot be condemned, (as some suggest I might) for not throwing my own time and money into supporting the proposition 8 campaign.
Number 2- Some understanding has come to me that Mormons aren't against gays, Mormons are FOR the traditional family.
Number 3- My role in this whole Proposition 8 thing is not to campaign. My role is to show love, compassion, and kindness to both parties in this debate. My role is to show homosexual people that while the political debate is rampant, we do not hate, nor judge, nor condemn our brothers and sisters. We love them, despite their differences. I can support Proposition 8 by being a good, loving missionary, and by helping combat the idea that all Latter-day saints are mindless bigots.
Thank you both Annie and Beckah for helping to realize that I am not alone in my concern over such a difficult issue. I continue to pray for everyone involved, and am thankful for like-minded friends.
Beckah and Annie, I love you both, and you truly are my sisters. You both have expressed opinions that I share in some form. Thank you Sierra for your beautiful thoughts as well.
Since the overturning of Prop 8 I have had lots of questions. What this will mean for persecution against the church, what this will mean for missionary opportunities. My head has been amass of questions. And finally one thought has remained.
What if the point of the Church's action in Prop 8 wasn't to make it pass. What if it was to help people with their testimonies.
To help them see what was the foundation of their testimonies? Was it founded in the doctrines of Jesus Christ? Was it anchored in charity? I saw several people waver in their faith trying to come to terms with the churches stance on homosexuality. To be honest I wondered what the churches stance on that was. It was an eye opener for me to honestly pray for clarity in that manner.
I'm sorry, my thoughts aren't clear. I just know that the gospel is true, and that our God is a God of love, not hate. The gospel is the gospel of peace and love. Hatred, bigatry, and persecution have no place here.
I love you both!
Thank you for that last thought Sarah. I'd never thought of that. And thank you others for your eloquence and kind-heartedness. You've all brought up a lot of things that have helped me clarify a few things, whether it's the answers or the questions. Either way, I appreciate the discussion. I learn so much from all of you. I don't have much to add that hasn't been heard before, and what thoughts are there are too half-baked to express at this point. I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your thoughts, everyone.
If only the spirit of love could motivate all discussion of this topic! I appreciate all of your comments to Rebekah's blog, knowing this is where they come from. Here are a few of mine. I agree that "the people voted for it" should not be a legitimate argument. It's actually a good opportunity to feel grateful for a form of government that is balanced in structure. It also does seem strange to disallow an opportunity to express sexual love in a committed, legal union, and then condemn that behavior outside of one. However, in reality, that is not what this is about. Ultimately, whether you word it as for one thing (heterosexual families), or against another (homosexual behavior), my understanding of the church's position is that acting on sexual feelings for the same gender is a sin. One can't, then, expect the church to support something that, in effect, condones that behavior. What I wish is that, in connection with Prop 8, the church had not gotten involved in the politicization of this discussion by providing funds, or asking its members to become what could be interpreted as political activists in connection with a vote. I wish no religious organization would get involved in legal or political strategies to forward their belief structure. I do appreciate that a religion might feel that a truth is so important that it must be acted on ... but in a world with so many religions holding so many beliefs, it ultimately seems to only create conflict to do so. Separation of church and state really can, and does, help "keep the peace", as it were. I do encourage loving discussion about this topic, mainly because at the very least, I hope it can result in a more pure love and understanding of the gays around us all. This is all shared, in full disclosure, as someone who supports the overturning of Prop 8. With love, Mom XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
How interesting that the word verification is "paridem" ... reminding me of "paradigm" (a union between intelligent inquiry and some particular form of world view.) ...
Yeah! Great thoughts and great post! Thanks for sharing! :) Hope life in Ashland is treating you well! Susan
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I have so many mixed feelings, it's hard to say exactly how I feel. I never understood why hospitals, for example, could tell someone that they can't visit a patient because they are not a spouse -- whether best friend or live-in partner. That just doesn't make sense. Just an example.
But marriage is such a tricky issue. Is it a political thing? Kingdoms and alliances have often been formed through marriage; love had nothing to do with it. Many societies still arrange marriages to carry on or improve their family standing. Is it financial? Our government, like many others, offers tax and other incentives for marriage. Is it about property? In far too many male-dominated societies, yes, a wife is property and exists to serve the man. That's sad. Is it to solidify the commitment to make and support babies? With today's divorce rates and children born out of wedlock, or childless couples (by choice or not) that almost seems irrelevant. Is it a license for sex? Like that's been a huge barrier... ever. And yet, this is the heart of what makes many of us uncomfortable.
I confess that I am fairly conservative in what I see as moral values. I still believe that sexual relations are reserved for a married man and woman. It turns out that's a fairly small group these days. But it's how I was raised, and how I still believe. So, anything outside this world view is, well, outside. Sure, I can certainly imagine homosexual relationships that are more supportive and more steady than many heterosexual relationships. But should we sanction them through marriage? That's a big step outside my comfort zone. One I can't say I'm ready for yet. But neither am I prepared to fight tooth and nail against it. I'm torn, I admit.
Of course, I belong to a church that once practiced polygamy (technically "polygyny" or just "plural marriage"). A number of my ancestors had more than one wife. That was scandalous! So much so that it led to great persecution, suffering, and death among the believers. I would, if necessary, defend that right as part of religious freedom. And yet, I'm glad I don't have to. It's still kind of weird.
Then I ask myself: why would polygamy be OK, but gay marriage not? It still comes down to the basic idea that procreation is one of the reasons for marriage, and that can't - naturally - happen in a homosexual relationship. But that's not the only reason to get married!
So I remain... torn.
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