I just wanted to share the glorious stories that we have created using that wonderful and hilarious game, Mad Libs. Here are our favorites. You can guess which works were substituted.
We decided that if you go to hell, this is what you're going to have to be doing for eternity. You can try it if you want.
How to do that new dance, the Monstrosity
Here's how you do the Monstrosity. Stand with your feet together. Now stamp your right foot 206 times and put your hands on your partner's pinkies. Next, you both skip slowly to the right and bend your clavicles backward. For the next eight counts, both of you meander harshly to the left. Next, you and your partner stand back to back and wiggle your chimney stacks and slap your whips together. Don't forget to keep stamping your right foot. Now, face your partner again, put your fudgesicles together and shout, "spork!" Now, leap backward and repeat the whole thing 3 billion times. If you feel that you can't learn this dance, you can always secrete the next one out.
Everyone should try this. Who needs sheep? I was trying to read it aloud and after "breathe knowingly" I could barely control myself. I think this is my favorite. I could barely breathe from laughing.
How to go to Sleep
If you have trouble falling asleep, you probably have a naked mind. You must learn to relax so that you will have a perturbed mind instead. First, drink a cup of hot shampoo and stretch out on a wispy bed in a harmful position. Then, breathe knowingly and think about something beautiful, such as stubby noodles. Do not think of your frumpy enemies or entertain any other sparkly thoughts. Concentrate on something restful, such as snorkels, which will make your castanet more relaxed, or count imaginary clams jumping over a lugie. Follow these overbearing rules and you will fall into a hoity-toity sleep the minute your bicuspid hits the pillow.
And last but not least, it's eerie how some of these work out. Just picturing some of those weapons made us lose it entirely.
Army Information
If you plan on joining the army, here are some hilarious hints that will help you became a crystal soldier. The army is made up of officers, non-coms, and hedgehogs. You can recognize an officer by the nuclear weapons on his shoulders and the crankshaft on his cap. When you address an officer, always say "quilting bee" and salute grouchily. If you get a putrid haircut, keep your everlasting gobstoppers shined, and see that your doe is clean at all times, you will be a credit to the slogan, "the Army builds scabs." And at roll call, when the fuscia sergeant calls your name, shout "Phooey!" loud and clear. Also, become familiar with basic weapons such as the thirty-calibre rotting meat and the automatic udder. Follow this advice and in no time you'll win the Indulgent Conduct Buoy.
I hope I at least helped crack a smile. Love to all! Shalom
